you know how sometimes you meet a person who you find so fun and mysterious and cool that you hang on to every word they speak because it tells you part of a bigger story about them and it is a story you love and want to know more of? i feel that way about you. you're so so cool and you never fail to inspire me, and this post was no exception except perhaps it was in the way that it is so precious to me because i too struggle with debilitating anxiety on the daily. just today there was an end-of-month meeting at a clinic, with all the staff gathered into a very small room and at multiple points during it i found myself hyperventilating because it was just too many people, in a very small space, and i tried to reason how bad it would look if i just ran out of there and never came back. working at the clinic is something anoushka of a year ago never would have managed to do, because her anxiety would have got the better of her and convinced her to quit, but it has taught me SO, SO MUCH and every day that i go there i learn even more. anyway!!!! this is just to say--I can only imagine how scary and pressurizing an actual real-life interview would have been and i am SO PROUD of you for not just surviving but also ACING the dang thing and getting that job like you deserve!! i hope it's amazing and that you learn loads and congratulations and also i love you <333
anoushka you are so very kind and leave the sweetest comments, like i have tears in my eyes right now. i think that the fact that you are working towards your dream is absolutely incredible as it takes a lot of guts to do that and the fact that you still get in scary situations but decide to stick it out shows a lot of courage!!!! thank you, it’s a good step forward to me and means i’m on a better path towards my dream career! i’m definitely still nervous about it and will be a wreck on my first day but i’ve committed now so too late! thank you for reading <3
I felt this one so deep in my core, and it even inspired me to write about that moment when anxiety leaves the room if someone else is in need. How weird, in a good way, is that? Is that just me?
In recent years, I've come to terms with the fact that I and anxiety are best pals. Tho sometimes she's a pain in the ass I know she's there to protect me, so lately I've tried to allow her to show up when there's something to worry about, and when she talks I just say "I hear ya girl " but we're gonna do it anyway. It's amazing how much, a protective to its core feeling, can take away from you but it's incredibly brave how much we can achieve if we can embrace it. Hold its hand and say doesn't matter we can do it anyway, we can fail and try again. Keep going out of your comfort zone, keep doing it scared, keep writing. Have a lovely lovely start in your new route. Mawh. X
i’ve also noticed that if i’m with someone who’s nervous about something i suddenly become super brave and can speak up on their behalf, yet would struggle to do the same for myself!! thank you for your comment, it’s so true because we really can do things anyway!!
Oh this is so exciting Ellen!! I have really learned that when I feel scared or anxious like you mentioned here, it’s often at times of growth. Though I will always be scared by new opportunities haha. I think that is very normal. Wishing you all the best of luck x
Ellen!!!!!! This is so so so good!!!! Our anxieties manifest a little differently, with mine being more OCD/obsession-related than social/interaction-related, but SO much of this I related to. Some of us do not have the option to NOT do it scared! But we have to do it all the same. My heart is with you and I resonated with so much of this, and here’s to you for doing it and doing it and doing it! And for getting that job, which you absolutely deserve and they absolutely have the right to give you!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ love you 5ever
knowing that i am not alone in how i feel makes me feel so validated. like it sucks we have to do things scared BUT i’m not alone in how i feel in this world!!! thank you so much for reading and your lovely comment!!! love you 5ever <3333
Why do we actually have the same life! I’ve been learning to do it scared and it’s taken time but in a way I love doing it scared because it is a challenge and it’s one I know I can face. And once you overcome that fear, good god it feels good. If you have no fears then you’ll never know the euphoria of overcoming them.
yes so true!!!!!! there are so many social situations i do without thinking now that years absolutely terrified me but i’ve learnt that there is nothing to be scared of!!!!
Literally!! I used to not pay cashiers. I’d always have someone else do it for me. Now I do it with confidence. And I am the cashier now at my job which is lowkey hilarious!
Also going to movies. As a kid I used to be TERRIFIED of going to the movies. Literally went and saw a horror movie a couple months ago. Bought the tickets myself and invited people. It was so fun.
i will say that i do need to get better doing things alone, as i know that sometimes i put off doing things if nobody will be there with me. i can manage going to work or uni alone, but i'd love to go for walks alone or take myself out to the cinema or a bookshop on my own. it's all about pushing myself - like launching myself into a pool of water before i have time to think rather than nervously dipping my toes in it.
ive been thinking about that this week, because theres so much I wanna do that I just am having trouble bringing myself to do alone. things as simple as going to the cinema or a shop. but you are right, its best to just dive right in instead of ponder the temperature forever.
Love this so much!!! I’ve got a job interview next week and i’m so scared, but reading this has made me feel much better so thank you for writing and congrats on your new job!! <33
I definitely relate to this so much! Fear and anxiety has held me back so much in my life. For one, I don't drive because I am terrified to do so. And it's embarrassing to me. And then the embarrassment causes more anxiety. But this year I've taken a ton of steps to do things I'm scared of. And yeah, it's still scary but I'm finding the reality is never quite as scary as I built it up to be in my head. I am sending you so many good vibes! Thank you for sharing this with us!
thank you for reading!!! yes finding out that there was never anything to be scared of is such a good feeling, i’ve shown my brain so many non-threatening situations this year and am definitely a lot calmer overall than i used to be.
you know how sometimes you meet a person who you find so fun and mysterious and cool that you hang on to every word they speak because it tells you part of a bigger story about them and it is a story you love and want to know more of? i feel that way about you. you're so so cool and you never fail to inspire me, and this post was no exception except perhaps it was in the way that it is so precious to me because i too struggle with debilitating anxiety on the daily. just today there was an end-of-month meeting at a clinic, with all the staff gathered into a very small room and at multiple points during it i found myself hyperventilating because it was just too many people, in a very small space, and i tried to reason how bad it would look if i just ran out of there and never came back. working at the clinic is something anoushka of a year ago never would have managed to do, because her anxiety would have got the better of her and convinced her to quit, but it has taught me SO, SO MUCH and every day that i go there i learn even more. anyway!!!! this is just to say--I can only imagine how scary and pressurizing an actual real-life interview would have been and i am SO PROUD of you for not just surviving but also ACING the dang thing and getting that job like you deserve!! i hope it's amazing and that you learn loads and congratulations and also i love you <333
anoushka you are so very kind and leave the sweetest comments, like i have tears in my eyes right now. i think that the fact that you are working towards your dream is absolutely incredible as it takes a lot of guts to do that and the fact that you still get in scary situations but decide to stick it out shows a lot of courage!!!! thank you, it’s a good step forward to me and means i’m on a better path towards my dream career! i’m definitely still nervous about it and will be a wreck on my first day but i’ve committed now so too late! thank you for reading <3
I felt this one so deep in my core, and it even inspired me to write about that moment when anxiety leaves the room if someone else is in need. How weird, in a good way, is that? Is that just me?
In recent years, I've come to terms with the fact that I and anxiety are best pals. Tho sometimes she's a pain in the ass I know she's there to protect me, so lately I've tried to allow her to show up when there's something to worry about, and when she talks I just say "I hear ya girl " but we're gonna do it anyway. It's amazing how much, a protective to its core feeling, can take away from you but it's incredibly brave how much we can achieve if we can embrace it. Hold its hand and say doesn't matter we can do it anyway, we can fail and try again. Keep going out of your comfort zone, keep doing it scared, keep writing. Have a lovely lovely start in your new route. Mawh. X
i’ve also noticed that if i’m with someone who’s nervous about something i suddenly become super brave and can speak up on their behalf, yet would struggle to do the same for myself!! thank you for your comment, it’s so true because we really can do things anyway!!
Oh this is so exciting Ellen!! I have really learned that when I feel scared or anxious like you mentioned here, it’s often at times of growth. Though I will always be scared by new opportunities haha. I think that is very normal. Wishing you all the best of luck x
thank you vicky! i really like that way of thinking about it actually!! x
Ellen!!!!!! This is so so so good!!!! Our anxieties manifest a little differently, with mine being more OCD/obsession-related than social/interaction-related, but SO much of this I related to. Some of us do not have the option to NOT do it scared! But we have to do it all the same. My heart is with you and I resonated with so much of this, and here’s to you for doing it and doing it and doing it! And for getting that job, which you absolutely deserve and they absolutely have the right to give you!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ love you 5ever
knowing that i am not alone in how i feel makes me feel so validated. like it sucks we have to do things scared BUT i’m not alone in how i feel in this world!!! thank you so much for reading and your lovely comment!!! love you 5ever <3333
Why do we actually have the same life! I’ve been learning to do it scared and it’s taken time but in a way I love doing it scared because it is a challenge and it’s one I know I can face. And once you overcome that fear, good god it feels good. If you have no fears then you’ll never know the euphoria of overcoming them.
yes so true!!!!!! there are so many social situations i do without thinking now that years absolutely terrified me but i’ve learnt that there is nothing to be scared of!!!!
Literally!! I used to not pay cashiers. I’d always have someone else do it for me. Now I do it with confidence. And I am the cashier now at my job which is lowkey hilarious!
Also going to movies. As a kid I used to be TERRIFIED of going to the movies. Literally went and saw a horror movie a couple months ago. Bought the tickets myself and invited people. It was so fun.
i will say that i do need to get better doing things alone, as i know that sometimes i put off doing things if nobody will be there with me. i can manage going to work or uni alone, but i'd love to go for walks alone or take myself out to the cinema or a bookshop on my own. it's all about pushing myself - like launching myself into a pool of water before i have time to think rather than nervously dipping my toes in it.
ive been thinking about that this week, because theres so much I wanna do that I just am having trouble bringing myself to do alone. things as simple as going to the cinema or a shop. but you are right, its best to just dive right in instead of ponder the temperature forever.
I saved a moment in my day to savour this! such a truthful piece - very much relatable and made me feel less lonely in those strange emotions X
thank you for reading!!!!!! x
Love this so much!!! I’ve got a job interview next week and i’m so scared, but reading this has made me feel much better so thank you for writing and congrats on your new job!! <33
thank you!!!! good luck with it!! i bet you’ll do great!!
I definitely relate to this so much! Fear and anxiety has held me back so much in my life. For one, I don't drive because I am terrified to do so. And it's embarrassing to me. And then the embarrassment causes more anxiety. But this year I've taken a ton of steps to do things I'm scared of. And yeah, it's still scary but I'm finding the reality is never quite as scary as I built it up to be in my head. I am sending you so many good vibes! Thank you for sharing this with us!
thank you for reading!!! yes finding out that there was never anything to be scared of is such a good feeling, i’ve shown my brain so many non-threatening situations this year and am definitely a lot calmer overall than i used to be.
I love this so much!!! and i’m proud of you for doing it scared!! 💌
thank you!!!!
Ellen this genuinely made me feel so much less alone and more at peace with my anxiety, this is such a lovely piece!! Thank you for writing it <3
thank you em!!!!! <33